


Just Feel

by coffeeandcas



Series: Just The Way You Are [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, Bunker Sex, Canon Compliant, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean In Love, Dean and Feelings, Emotional Baggage, Explicit Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Sexual Repression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 05:56:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11503149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandcas/pseuds/coffeeandcas
Summary: Dean is slowly allowing himself to explore his sexuality with Cas, and overcoming mental hurdles with the help of his angel's love for him - and his very talented mouth.





	Just Feel

**Author's Note:**

> This is explicit from the go. Basically, as tagged, porn with feelings.

Cas loves eating Dean out. There's something deliciously forbidden about it that both he and the hunter get off on, and he does it as often as Dean will let him - which, it turns out, is pretty frequently. Dean has all sorts of hang-ups about his body and his sexuality which trickle through into the time they spend naked and alone together, but this is one thing he can really get into, really let go of himself, and enjoy. Cas has a wicked tongue and knows exactly how to tease Dean until he's either whimpering with need or gasping in pleasure: whatever Cas wants at that moment in time.

They've tried anal sex a few times, and neither of them particularly enjoyed it. Cas found it awkward and uncomfortable to be on the bottom, displeased with being unable to see Dean and finding it less than pleasurable lying on his back. So they tried it twice and haven't since - they have other ways to occupy themselves. Dean just… can't. It's a step too far for him, allowing someone entry into his body, even though it's Cas who he loves beyond belief (and is yet to admit to anyone but himself). He hopes Cas knows it, hopes he's shown it to the fallen angel through his actions because the words just won't come yet. They may never come and he carries a heavy burden of guilt for that, but on some level he thinks Cas is aware. He rebuilt Dean atom by atom, even restoring his feelings of repression and self-doubt as directed by Heaven, so he must know that the hunter will keep his innermost emotions under lock and key until the very last. He tries to show Cas by his touch instead, rather than his words. He tries to show him by kissing him all sweet and gentle when Sam is around to see, meaning he's not ashamed of them and isn't hiding. He tries to show it by stripping down in front of the angel’s hungry eyes, giving his body over to Cas’ scrutiny and receiving nothing but love and admiration in return. He tries to show it in the afterglow, by holding Cas close and sometimes, only sometimes, allows himself to be held. To be the little spoon. When the moment takes him.

When Cas first put his lips to Dean’s most intimate place, he was met with refusal and reservations. He didn't do it again, respecting his hunter’s boundaries, and a few weeks later Dean asked him to try again so that he could really see if he likes it without the initial shock. Well, he didn't exactly ask: Cas was giving him a long, slow blowjob to take the edge off a particularly stressful, unresolved hunt and Dean had just kind of… encouraged him to go lower. To dip behind his balls and stroke his tight, clenching entrance with the tip of his tongue. He had allowed it for a few minutes before tripping and falling into an emotional freak out about _feelings_ and _being_ _gay_ and _what would my father think_ and they had parted regretfully, Dean showering in icy cold water to get rid of his desire. But two days later, they did it again and that was the first time Dean reached orgasm with Cas’ tongue inside him. Since then, they've done it in every position they can think of, and they both have favourites. Cas’ is having Dean on all fours so he can reach between his legs and play with his cock until he's throbbing and dripping and needy. Dean’s is face down with his legs spread, face buried in the pillows to muffle his cries.

Except that it isn't really his favourite. His favourite position is one he seldom allows himself to enjoy: Cas lying on his back and Dean straddling his face, moaning and gasping as the angel slowly eats him out and strokes his cock and balls with sure, deliberate hands. He feels so exposed like that, so wanton and desperate as he grids down onto his lover’s face, his hands fisted in his own hair or tugging at his nipples as he spills over Cas’ naked body. That position he really, really loves.

And that's what they're doing right now. They started in Cas’ favourite position, with Dean on his hands and knees, head hanging low between his shoulders, panting quietly and trying to temper his arousal to stop himself coming too soon. Cas had knelt behind him and opened him up with his mouth and tongue, delving deep and groaning at the musky, intense taste of Dean. He lapped and licked at his lover’s tight entrance with fervour, his hands spreading Dean open so that he can get in impossibly deeper, and they both had their eyes closed in pleasure. Then, knowing the hunter was impossibly aroused and wanting something more, Cas hooked his hands under Dean’s hips and, with a bit of reshuffling, lay back and pulled his hunter over him to straddle his face. And Dean groaned, long and low in his throat and let his eyes fall closed again as his head tipped back.

Now, Cas is really going to town. He has one hand on Dean’s thigh and the other spreading his entrance wide so he can lick just that bit deeper. His own cock is thick and heavy on his stomach, the tip shining with pre-release, but he doesn't want attention yet. This is all for Dean, and they both know it. He pulls back for a gasp of air, and gently rubs the pad of his thumb over Dean’s spit-slick entrance, caressing him and stimulating him until he trembles with need. Then he pulls Dean back onto him, onto his mouth, encouraging him to rock his hips and really enjoy the pleasure Cas is lavishing on him. Dean’s own hand is on his cock, stroking and massaging and playing, trying to stave off his orgasm and draw their pleasure out as long as possible. He's panting, chest rising and falling sharply, and his whole body is covered in a light sheen of sweat as he finally gives in and grinds down on Cas’ face, chasing the exquisite pleasure of his mouth.

When he comes, his vision whites out for a moment and all he can feel is Cas and ecstasy and wild, untamed adoration for his angel. Cas’ stubble is rough between his cheeks, his hand firm on his thigh, and he tries not to squeeze his legs too tight but he can't stop himself; his orgasm is shattering and seems to go on and on as he comes on Cas’ tongue. His sharp cry turns quickly into a long, drawn-out moan as the pleasure keeps cresting, wave after wave of climax and he spills hot and wet over his lover’s body, marking him as his own and can only watch and tremble as Cas’ come-streaked chest heaves with the exertion of bringing Dean to orgasm. Panting, whining softly, he falls forward onto one hand and takes hold of the angel’s neglected cock with his other and starts to stroke him, leaning down to lap gently at the head until Cas writhes, thrusting his hips up, and comes with a choked-off moan.

It's never awkward, afterwards. Cas’ grace cleans them up and they lie together in companionable silence, sometimes on top of the sheets and sometimes beneath them, depending on the mood and the temperature of the sweat as it cools on their bodies. Between his legs, Dean aches. He's relaxed and tender from Cas’ mouth and, privately, he craves more. Wonders what Cas’ fingers would feel like if they were moving inside him. Wonders about the spot deep within him that he knows would bring him such pleasure, has seen guys come countless times in porn videos from internal stimulation alone. Wonders what it would be like to come on Cas’ hand. He would have to be held, he's sure, have Cas’ other arm safe and secure around his shoulders to remind him that it's OK to want this. That it's OK to let go, and it's OK to enjoy. That his own body isn't off-limits and that the man who loves him is the safest person alive with whom he could explore it with. He thinks about it while he absently plays with Cas’ hair, and he can feel the angel’s eyes on him.

“I know, you know.” Cas whispers and Dean’s heart pounds. “And it's all right if you can't say it. I love you too.”

Dean is the little spoon that night, falling asleep with Cas curled around him, dreaming of the things he wants to try and do and say, and the days to come when he's sure he can allow himself to let go and just _feel_.


End file.
